So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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