We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just want to make out with him forever
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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