you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize
