she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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