dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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