"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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