You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
