I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
