champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
