Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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