i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
