Nicole vs. Life
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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