k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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