you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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