Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
