are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
