I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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