Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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