All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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