Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
