Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
