If i come over, it means nothing
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
