I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
