We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sorry about my life...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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