is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
