so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
