Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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