You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
