They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
