I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
