I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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