girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You were trust falling into bushes
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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