eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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