did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
