i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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