its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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