also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
