yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
