Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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