I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
