New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Come see our sink grown plant.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
