This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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