He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
