Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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