Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
