That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
