I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
