If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
