My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
