We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We have started to decorate penises.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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