What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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